Originally posted on Thought Catalog:
1. “Hey Ladies” by the Beastie Boys Hey ladies in the place I’m callin’ out to ya, There never was a city kid truer and bluer, There’s more to me than you’ll ever know, And I’ve got more hits than Sadaharu Oh Although this song off of Paul’s Boutique is…

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:
I don’t want to love you anymore because I want to go to sleep. The hours tip toe around one another, while I’m wide-awake, talking the ears off of the sheep above my head. They are smoking cigarettes, rolling their eyes, yelling profane things back at me hoping I’ll just…

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:
Sometimes life blows for no apparent reason, which happens to pretty much everyone – it’s not hard to fall into a funk when you’re tired or burned out or frustrated. Sometimes, though, life blows for no apparent reason much harder and longer than usual, and you don’t really notice things…

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:
Did you ever read Lies My Teacher Told Me by James Loewen? If not, you should. It’s a book full of fascinating insights into the sides of history we’re never allowed to see, a warts-and-all look at the flaws that make history interesting. With Loewen in mind, I concocted a…

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:
Because you’re procrastinating doing work that is relevant to your life. Because you don’t actually care about 75% of the people on your Facebook. Because rants are annoying and a day can’t go past without someone ranting on there. Because you don’t need to know what is going on in…

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:
There is an old Marx Brothers joke from the movie Duck Soup. Groucho is called upon to defend his brother Chico in a court of law and in the course of the chicanery and puns says, “Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but…

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:
1. Complete happiness with standing outside in terrible weather. Everyone around you is rapidly developing frostbite and shedding extremities like a freshly-cracked piñata, and you’re sipping your margarita in your bathing suit, thinking about how great it is to be alive. You can’t feel anything on your body besides the…